In a World without Idiots

Have you ever tried counting the number of times you lose your cool in a day? Thanks to those genius neighbors, captains of cabs, pilots of auto rickshaws, master chefs at tea stalls, and the list just grows. It is nothing less than just a cake walk for them to get our blood pressure beyond thresholds with their world class abilities such as spotting gaps in traffic, signal jumping skills and sugar sprinkling stride in our coffees. Just adding to our woes are those IPL players who could manage to miss a simple catch. At least they sometimes get to be called the stylish player for dropping the catch in style.

It is worthwhile to note that a world where everything is perfect and everyone has an IQ level matching that of Einstein’s and ours would be a wonderful place to live in.

Wrong!

Half of us would kill ourselves for living a mediocre life and the other half would still continue to be celebrities and rock stars, just the way they are now.  Let’s just focus only on the first half for now, for all practical purposes. We are the set of people who long for likes on Instagram and still pretend that it makes no difference to life. That joy we get when the count in likes increase by a few tens and twenties overnight just makes our day, and we walk on the streets like there is a red carpet already. Now you fail to remember that the person who you called an idiot a couple of days back is the one who has elevated your social status by lending a like. Does this make that person a larger person and you small? No way! Once an idiot, always an idiot. It is just a duty that they got to perform, like voting and paying taxes. Voting to put it on Facebook and paying taxes, just because we work for the service sector (Fictional and not intended to criticize the system – I mean it :p ).

These idiots whom we come across everyday give us a purpose of existence. They give us a sense of unquestionable pride. They are the warriors of our self-confidence and a ray of hope to justify our literacy.  Gone are the days where we used to long for an appreciation from the teachers in school. It is time to earn it for yourself by pointing out the flaws in the thought process of the weaker human you are in contact with. Make stories of how stupid can one get at a given situation and boast about how you are such a blessing to mankind. All this would just be a far-flung lie with the absence of these lovable idiots and their critical actions. 

Let’s just continue to cherish them and glorify their unique capabilities. Just be assured they are never going to let you down, for a simple reason that you think you are superior.

Duh! What an idiotic post.

Thought Process Outsourcing

Hurrah! Google just turned 17, just one year away from its legal drinking age (maximum parts of the world). The sober teen Google has somehow got into our heads and eroded the human capabilities of thinking, just wondering what the adult Google would account to.

The advent of internet, with highly efficient search engines has shown an easy path to the humans for finding answers to their questions. This is good from one way that we get to save a lot time, and have access to more information than what our ancestors had. On the other hand, there is an adverse effect of limiting our exploratory skills.

One of the dangers of this habit happens to be 'falling for opinions', rather than banking on facts. It is painful to see people sharing weird stuff on social media that carry no logic. All that they see is the number of likes and shares, to quantify the legitimacy and just hit the share button blindly. After all, this is the new way of saying 'hi' to the followers.

A classic case of such an instance was when a lot of people shared the picture of Morgan Freeman to mourn for Nelson Mandela's death. Similarly, the RIP status for Rowan Atkinson (famously Mr. Bean) who is still alive and healthy. Are we falling for opinions and manipulations? Rather making use of our key strength called thinking?

And, do not forget that we all believed a set of photos of Shanghai to be actually clicked in Gujarat, just because lot of people shared it and thinking they possibly visited there. We are just getting lazy and reluctant to explore more about things that we choose to believe in, leaving lot of opportunities for the pranksters and fraudsters. Yes, even today I won a lottery from the UK and a German lady wanted to donate all her wealth to me, as she got to know from internet that I am a good guy. In a couple of weeks I am expecting 4 more such lotteries and ladies who would make me as wealthy as Donald Trump! (Coming soon: Vote for Srini).

The more we fall for pranks and false facts, we become more vulnerable and exposed to the greed of corporations and politicians. Simple example of e-commerce sites playing around with pieces of goods, to create a mirage of huge discounts pretty much sums up this whole scenario. And, we are not far away from the babas and the god men making use of search engines and social media as channels of chatting with the gods.

Google is doing a brilliant job in helping us improve our lives. Let's not just think of taking advantage of it, rather think of ‘thinking for ourselves’ too. The day we stop thinking is the day when our soul starts creating a gap from our mind. Thought Process Outsourcing is never the answer, still Thought Process Differentiation could be one of the possible answers. 

Freedom, yes you are tricked

While the nation of a billion free souls is celebrating the wonderful feel of freedom, it is worthwhile to give a thought on the concept of freedom. Charles Darwin should be a happy man now, realizing that he just had to stop his theory at a point where greed of humans was still not a game changing factor. Trust me, this variable would have made the theory a never ending painful story which made no sense, still with a great set of audience. After all, we are more interested in drama than facts.

Coming back to this concept of freedom, it has a great correlation with God. We have heard stories about them but unfortunately don't get to see or feel them. And, of course they both were invented by humans just to bring a high budget feel to the story, like that one exotic foreign location song in most of the Indian movies. It adds no value to the story, but diverts the attention of the viewers.

Are we really free? Our grand fathers who lived during the time between the British rule and the advent of credit cards have better chances of claiming to have tasted freedom. We have willfully complicated our lives so much, that the word freedom has become a factor of doubt and we keep taking and posting about it to check if it is still applicable.

We are for sure politically free from those crazy colonizers and are happy about it, not realizing that eventually every organism under the sun is free. While the rest of the organisms on earth function by one thumb rule "survival of the fittest", we the humans have complicated the equation with a plethora of variables. Survival of the richest, smartest, cutest, hottest etc., and before reaching this comparison stage, we are forced to go through class test, quarterly test, annual test and much more.

Kudos to mankind for it efforts in commoditizing freedom diligently through establishing supremacy within the same kind, based on factors such as race, color, wealth and the latest addition "number of followers".  Every piece of supremacy established, gets dissolved over a period of time with a tag of freedom to it. So there are a lot more freedoms to come and let's wait and see if we are lucky enough to experience one for ourselves.

So, freedom! Yes, we are tricked :D

In a Perfect World That Forces You!

The warmth season of the year is back and it’s going to be Valentine’s Day drama all over the place again. As a marketer, in all fairness I love this season when even a rose petal can be sold at ridiculous prices with absolutely zero effort. Still, as just another common citizen and a responsible human, the basic question happens to be “is it actually worth the hype it gets”.

Love is like an ocean, love is like the sun and I would dedicate my whole life for that special one. Yeah true. And the special one comes with a validity period for most people of our generation. I am not stereotyping, maximum of the relationships that we encounter are based on certain critical factors and for some weird reason, factors other than love.

All this introduction was just to narrow down my thoughts to one hypothesis “People do things because the world forces them to do so” and the most disastrous thing amongst all of those is getting into a relationship.

It is not the only thing for sure. Learning music, getting on a roller coaster despite having acrophobia, driving at blistering speed despite knowing you are not Luke Skywalker, buying a phone half the worth of the annual pay, and of course becoming engineers. The list is huge and I could fill many additional sheets of such things if this were an exam.

May be, all these are because of the fact that we just let “others” to choose our choices and we are bound to maintain some virtual standards that mean nothing to us. What maximum can we get from these acts? A myth of satisfaction? A feeble circle of confidence? A brittle self confidence? Still, nothing stops us and we just go for it just to save time and our brain’s efforts.

I am sure most of us would agree to the fact that the person who is honest and admits his/her weakness is the easiest one to pick on. Still, acceptance with a little show of attitude and the confidence to say “I am not good at it coz I have no interest in it” would make the difference.

Ashamed of being oneself speaks about low self esteem. Being happy and proud of what I am creates respect/fear among the peers/competitors, though they are better than what I am. For sure, Mr. Maslow would have hated the latter class of people as he was left with nothing to sell to them.

Just try accepting and saying people about things that you are not good at. Either you get tips (from those who think they are good at it) or empathy (from the ones who are actually good at it). Both the cases the other person is happy and hence the equation balances.

By the way, Happy Valentine’s week relationship geeks. I am terribly bad at it.

Be yourself and have a blast!

Bingo.

Food, Clothing, Shelter and Smartness

I have not got an opportunity to see the recent text books of school kids, just wondering if there has been any update on the section which teaches about the basic amenities of life. If they still have printed “Food, Clothing and Shelter”, I would join the group of people who claim that the education system sucks big time. The name of the game is “Smartness” and probably it has to be portrayed as the fourth and most important amenity of any human in the advanced competitive world.

By competitive, I am not trying to speak about some useless competitions we were forced to participate in. I am not speaking about some crazy concepts like “the class topper is destined to rule the world and a kid who just gets pass mark is not worth living”. It is all about being "smarter" than the rest and not being fooled. 

In my point of view, we are a part of the most selfish ecosystem. Everyone wants to grab your money and move away, starting from a rickshaw driver to CEOs of corporations. The same company that develops anti-virus software also spreads malware and virus. That does not mean the consumers are fools. Even they get 3 keys for one license and hence feel happy and propagate the fact that they are smart J. The cycle continues.

How smart are you in sensing what the other guy standing in front of you thinks and how quickly can you strategize and outsmart him/her is the key. 

Only “being smarter” can make you stand out of the crowd and trust me, the ones who are reluctant to stand out from the crowd and who are shy to be different are probably the victims of stampede.

And of course, there is God to save us all and for sure he will choose if a skinny person or a meaty person would stamp us (The so called Karma). This decision will be purely based on his database containing information on the frequency of visits and money transfer to the sacred destinations. Just a side-track.

Hard work, like Newton’s law is just becoming a text book concept. Everybody knows a part of it, like the third law, but no one knows the significance nor is bothered about what the hell it is. But for sure a lot of people know everything about Tony Stark as a scientist and his concepts. It is a world of smart and unconventional people, even though they are virtual at times.

You are a good guy, pat yourself. You are honest, reward yourself with an extra scoop of ice cream. You never cheated on the opposite gender? Brilliant, post it on your FB wall and no one would even look at it. Precisely, no one has time to appreciate your achievements and noble nature. The clock is ticking and time is money, love and whatever one wants. If you need to be in the game, better keep playing it rough and do not waste time admiring how good you are.

In a nutshell, it is all about being smart and hence powerful to stand out of the crowd. Why am I saying all these? May be coz I am strong and I give a damn what others think about my ideas :)

Keep smiling and just say Bingo!!!

Carbon is My Inspiration

This post for sure is not on Organic Chemistry! For the reason that I know everyone hates it. But how about Chemistry in relationships? Now everyone would invariably say a big YES!

Working on the differences is the thumb rule of any relationship. It is so similar to chemical bonding. There are elements, there are compounds and there are also inert gases. For those who slept in chemistry classes, let me explain some simple stuff. Elements are comprised of single kind of atoms, say people who are comfortable with people of their kind. Compounds are combination of elements, say people who are ready to mingle with all (but with certain other kinds at times) and inert gases are those which never react, unless there are certain forcible conditions.

I am sure you have come across all these kinds of people. Predominantly, the element category. They are more comfortable with you if you are existing in a form that they are comfortable to react with. They remain stubborn and try to make you react. These kinds of people are the manipulators :p. The compounds are the happy ones who mingle with everyone else. The compound group is one which has all kinds of people. The inert gases are the ones who come rapidly to you if and only if there is an emergency.

Out of all the elements, my inspiration is carbon. It is abundant, found everywhere and moreover in every form. Diamonds for the expensive people, coal for the people who make a living out of it and “Ponds face wash with the power of activated carbon” for the pretty girls.. J

And do not forget, they can form bonds of varying strengths. From a bond with Oxygen and float freely in the atmosphere to a strong bond with other Carbon atoms over a period of time to form the strongest allotrope, or even as the graphite in pencils that motivate Ranchos of the world to come up with ultimate questions about usage in space.

In my opinion, it is more important for every individual to align with Carbon’s characteristics. Remain tough with certain people, bond strongly with some, and also act as Carbon Monoxide or even Cyanide to a few people who deserve that.

Let us face the reality that everyone looks for benefits in others. True relationships without any expectation can exist only in fairy tales. To remain active in all situations and still enjoy life, the thumb rule is “Take people the way they are”. Certain inert gases are too dangerous. It is all about understanding the characteristics and choosing if to react or not and choosing the form of existence.

And do not regret for being used by people or for being taken for granted. People use you for the simple reason that you are useful. Like the carbon being used by everyone. You just have to bear the ones who take you for granted, but only till they realize that you are a diamond!!!

Bingo

Ganapati Papa Glorious!!!

His name starts with “G”, yet around a billion people believe in the fact that everything starts with him. You may see Indian streets even without roads laid, but not without a Ganesh temple. Almost all kinds of organizations invariably have a Ganesh temple in their premises. The reason being so simple, Ganesh is ready to sit even under a tree unlike Lord Vishnu who needs space to lie down or Lord Lakshmi who needs a lot of ornaments.

The first super hero of any Indian child, for a simple fact that he was smart enough to cheat his sibling and grab a mango. Mischief his inherent quality and eating his predominant hobby makes him get closer to a common man compared to other focussed and fit Gods.

It is interesting to analyse how “Ganesh” has evolved as a super brand that everyone loves, not taking into consideration the zillions of sub categories in Hinduism. It is quite evident that the twist specifying Ganesh written on the top of all answer sheets help over a millions pass exams every year!!!

I was going through an article called “Most Important brand characteristics of Gen Y”. And here comes my rationale behind me calling “Ganesh” a super brand.

      1.     Has his own style:

Of course, a huge tummy, smartness in getting things done, the most intellectual of all Gods and a lot more adding to the fact that he is stylish that Rajnikanth.

      2.     Makes me feel happy:

The first thing anyone could recollect about Ganesh temples is the variety  of prashad or offerings. The rich ghee and cashew filled limited tasty food would make anyone happy.

      3.     Is up-to-date:

Ganesh with cricket bats, kicking football during the respective world cups, even missiles during war times is a normal scene in the sub-continent. He is so flexible to endorse any product, that too free of cost and hence is always up-to-date.

 

4.     Has a clean reputation:

No black marks in the whole of his mythological career, at least Ram was suspicious about Sita, Krishna made all tricky strategies wheras Ganesh remaining clean and is more promising of delivering results to his devotees.

      5.      Is real/authentic:

Belief and blind belief is extensive in Ganesh’s case and is way ahead of others. I have rarely heard stories of his dad or brother’s idols drinking milk, but every six months some or the other Ganesh idol drinks milk and created hype. People blindly believe that he is real.

      6.      Is something I can identify with:

Here, all credits to the one who had designed such a brand. Really hats off to our mythology, the way of relating things in a flawless way. As we all know an elephant has great strength, has a superb memory and is a peace loving creature unless anyone troubles it, Ganesh does all these too. The moment he knows the world has trouble, he loses temper.

      7.      Is clear and simple:

No complex ideas like the Gita, does not need highly complex rituals of hymns. Simplest of all Gods, an idol made of sand, bananas being a reasonable offering, moreover a four liner hymn and four sit-ups ensure miracle.

These characteristics have ensured that he stays in the hearts and homes of around a billion people. Established as the biggest organization, with even more branches than government offices or even CCDs for that matter. All he needs it a tree with some branches for shade and people with belief.

Not sure if Nano proves to be a people’s car, but any brand trying to become a people’s brand must learn from the success story of Lord Ganesh!!!

Happy Ganesh Chaturthi!!!

A Marketer's Attitude!!!

Committed? How does it bother me??? I am Alexander the conqueror and not Columbus the explorer!!!

Just a statement to pull you into the post, but still coincidentally suits the context. This attitude in a marketer has always resulted in fruitful results. Facebook was not a new concept, iPod was not a new product, IPL was not a new format, and even Titanic was something which originally sunk in the Atlantic. It is all about ensuring that the packaging is done in a way that the target audience woo it.

Sincerely, forgetting the 4Ps and 7Ps is a sin and would end up in a disaster. The most relevant case in the recent times is the failure and success of a same story in Bollywood. Ek Tha Tiger is creating history while Agent Vinod’s failure is not at all a mystery. It is all about using the best of the Ps in the most creative manner.

To put it across in simple terms, no need to propose a girl who has never been proposed, it’s all about showcasing how you are better that her boy friend. To be honest, customers are like the most common girl who can never be happy about anything or anyone for a longer period time.

Creativity finds its prominence in the way of approach. It is all about finding what tune the customer would love to dance for and blowing your trumpet in similar notes. Again putting in simple words, be a funny guy to impress the girl who loves jokes, be a boring guy to an emotional girl and do not hesitate to even play tennis if the girl is of the FWB kind!!! And trust me; this process is simple only with a committed girl and the magic works when you woo her better than your competitor.

Being a martial arts fan, I could not resist myself from quoting the “Karate Kid” as a similar phenomenon. A same story, told in a slightly different way, sold at different times and still proving successful. The old curvy chubby Beetle sold at a premium price, Priyanka Chopra dressed in the 70s style and dancing in promo videos and lot more prove good examples to support my point.

So, the bottom line is never fear, just think of projecting things in a different and better way. Be a conqueror as enough explorations have been made to exploit every resource.  The password to access success may be tough to crack, but is always easy to hack!!!

Courage??? That sounds funny to me!!!

Chris Gayle hits the ball and it disappears into the crowd…. How courageous???

Neil Amstrong stepped on an unknown place, Courage matters!!!

Vidya Balan is the most courageous Indian lady….

Just examples.. Lot more on the list… Napolean Bonaparte, Alexander,  Muhammed Ali, Pamela Anderson (lol...) and the list never ends.

Even when I failed to do my homework in school, my teachers asked me, “Who gave you courage to come to class???”. My confusion is so simple. Does the word ‘Courage’ really deserve the importance which is being given to it? Or is it an exaggeration of qualities of people by the ones who feel shame about their inabilities?

From my point of view, courage is just the “victory of one fear over another”.

A boy who fears about his crush falling for another guy, proposes her. Victory of fear of losing her over the fear of what she may think. A girl who fears her guy not giving her the importance, cries in front of everyone (With courage.. :p).

A student, who thinks he/she might not pass, gets the courage to cheat in exam. Fear of failing wins over the fear of getting caught.

The most courageous act of taking a walk to the graveyard at an odd night even is an outcome of fear. Fear of losing dignity among the cowards who fear to do that.

Achieving a feat that others are afraid of is a great trait, but still the objective is an issue. Are we wasting our time thinking and strategizing ways to improve the way world looks at us? If that is the case, those humble people who have the courage to tell that they are cowards are obviously leading a better life. They do what they love to do, not taking into consideration how do they look like from others’ perception.

Courage therefore from my point of view is a funny word, and that’s why I am courageous enough to criticize it and those who use it in a funny way… J

Are you a good relationship manager?

“Mana” “Dama”ging relationships – Ask Srini

When everyone speaks philosophy about relationships and stuff that has no meaning and value addition, I laugh at them. For a simple reason that it is the benefits that people get from relationships and not the relationship itself that matters.

You got to be a good trader
I had been advocating the fact that even friendship is a form of trade, which some people don’t accept and some people even go the extent of calling me a crazy person who does not know the meaning of emotions. I still ask them only one question. If time spent together is a measure of a good relationship, it is a trade. If the degree to which other person listens and cares for you is a measure, relationship is a trade. If being there for you under any circumstance is a measure, relationship is a trade.

Finally economics comes in handy
It is all about giving a little and taking a lot. This is a really confusing equation as the giver feels the worth of things that are given, more than the taker. To be more precise, sacrificing a match is a great sacrifice for the reason that I love football. But value is always based on the perception from the receiving end. And believe me, this equation can never be solved unless there are numerous variables which balance from either sides, and finding them out is a Himalayan task.


In an unlimited buffet choose the right menu
But still the person, who clearly defines his /her equation and customizes it quickly for different recipients, becomes the most loved person. It is simply serving the preferred dished on right plates. You may very well come across stale food on your plates, but who knows recession may hit and the stale food becomes the main course. So, my sincere request is you may have stale food, but don’t reveal the status to them. Keep tasting and appreciating every dish.
Things do not ever happen the way we want. There may be spills from the plate which becomes inevitable. But ensuring that they do not spill on us and create a stain is the most important factor. Understand the logic behind human relationships is so important – nothing and no one is as exciting as the first meet and charm reduces over a period of time. Jokes become nonsense, care becomes disturbance, and love becomes stupidity.

Controlled "Damage" is the new mantra
So, the best thing about managing relationships is damaging them at the “right time”. Sounds stupid, but trust me, this is the best way of fool proofing from being called a stupid. Either you become stupid or make others look so. The option is open and perfectly within one’s control. Damaging is a little tough to do. It is highly dependent on others too. They may be stubborn against the damage as the benefits are not yet perfectly extracted. Be careful, you lose the chance; others get the upper hand and throw you later. At the end of the day, it is all about who looks brilliant!!!

It’s all about Damaging and not Managing, which will fetch you pride and importance in any relationship.
Stay tuned for more.. :)